Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
