Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
