thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
