Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
