I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
