I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
