p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
