you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
