I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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