just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
