so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
