Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
