dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
