marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
