Me too!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
