I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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