it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
