im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just tell him i said nine months
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
