thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
