Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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