well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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