Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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