This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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