He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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