is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The best revenge is premature balding
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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