Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
