I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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