you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
