i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
