Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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