my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
