She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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