just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
