Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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