Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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