have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
