Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
