but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
