dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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