just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
