everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
