Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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