The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
