There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
