took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
