plz talk dirty to me
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
