True but thats because hes a fetus.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
