Sponge bath it is.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
