He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
