if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
