I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
